NachOdyssey Part 2: The Hemisphere Gap
Thailand is just over 9,000 miles from Mexico, and nowhere is this cultural chasm more evident than in the City of Angels’ (no, not LA. The Thai word for Bangkok literally translates to the same thing) Latin-inspired restaurants. In Part 1 of this disappointing endeavor (disapeavor for short, copyright BKK7), I mistakenly explored the various British-style pubs around town first, and realized in doing so that, while nachos are a common sight on every pub menu, nary a one is more than merely edible. I tortured myself schlepping from Asoke to Silom in search of a good pile of tortilla chips, cheese, and toppings. In the end, ‘twas all for naught. The only upside is, I’ve suffered so you don’t have to. A record of that misery can be found here:
In spite of that failure, I remained doggedly determined to find something resembling real nachos in Bangkok, and so turned my attention to the many, many so-called Mexican restaurants so boastfully and brazenly open and serving food as if to say, “That’s right, it’s Mexican food. Go on and try it. We dare you.” And so, I did. Here’s how it broke down…
Sunrise Tacos 295++b. Depending on which franchise location you hit and who happens to own it at the time, the nacho plate can and will vary widely and wildly. I hit the one in Silom because it’s 40 yards from Patpong. Nice presentation. Only 5 jalapenos, thank Buddha. Covid has forced them to close the salsa bar so I was stuck with whatever they chose to slap on the plate (they doled out 3 kinds—chunky, chipotle, and verde). I ordered ground beef with mine. Couldn’t place the chips, which were flavorless but at least they weren’t store bought. Refried beans, real sour cream, and lots of gooey cheese. C2C (cheese to chips) ratio: 1 to 1. The dish was double the size of Scruffy’s and Oasis, but it still gets a low score for the price. I of course got a margarita to wash it down, which are always good at this Sunrise location. The overall taste and experience of Sunrise’s nachos—and this is true of all their fare—was closer to Mexican than most of these places get on a good day. But for my money, any of the taco platters or the flautas or the San Diego style burrito are better choices.
The next day I attempted to hit Slanted Taco but they had the wrong opening hours on Google and their doors were shut tight. So I passed them by and hit Tortilla Quemada, an additional 4-minute walk up Suk Soi 23 plus a quick left on 100 Pi Sayam Alley. From the front it looks like there's nowhere to sit, but they've a large aircon dining room 2 doors down.
I got carne asada nachos and holy fuck, were they awesome. The owner/server delivered it through a backdoor window on a hot metal tray fresh out the oven that cradled a bed of real tortilla chips smothered in cheese, fresh tomato, onion, refried beans, jalas, and chunks of soft, juicy steak. Included for good measure: a side of spicy queso sauce. I was in heaven. C2C ratio: 2 to 1. By the end I was positively stuffed, sweating, and nose running from whatever chilis were in the queso. ‘Twas a nearly perfect plate of nachos. 320 baht and worth every satang plus 130 for a bottle of San Miguel Blanca. I’d call Tortilla Quemada one of Bangkok’s hidden gems.
Next up is the BKK famous Charley Brown's. The margarita was poured from a premixed bottle in the fridge but the price was right: 105. It was decent. I once again got the beef nachos (295b). The chips tasted and felt like store bought but they seemed modified, as if they were freshly-refried before serving. C2C ratio was 1 to 1. The other toppings were refried black beans (interesting choice), Jack cheese, 5 jala slices, salsa, shredded marinated beef, and a dollop of sour cream. Everything was terrific except the chips. They had the salty dirt taste of Danita store-bought chips. Halfway through I picked up a fork and just ate the toppings.
Cholos is a schlep. It’s food truck, way down soi 12 in the driveway of the Bangkok Mansion apartment building. Their frozen margarita (220b) was best I've had in Thailand. 10/10 on the flavor scale. Nachos: hard chips (good), nacho cheese (better), salsa, sour cream, cilantro/coriander and fresh guac (best) C2C ratio was 1 to 2 but I didn't mind because the chips were so nice.
Cali-Mex is another franchise with multiple locations around town so results may vary. Mine were from the one in Sathorn. The chips were…OK. They weren’t store-bought, which was a blessed relief. The cheese was a kind of queso dip-ish mixture of a Velveeta-like substance combined with herbs and spices that the joint calls “cheddar sauce” for a decidedly Mexican flavor along with refried beans, salsa, chucks of chicken, and a smattering of jalas, all crisscrossed with a sour cream-like liquid. It’s not what I’d call an “authentic” dish of nachos, but the flavor delivered, which is to say it satiated my jonesing for Latin fare. C2C ratio: 1 to 1. Not bad for 299 baht.
La Monita (355b) makes some great food, mostly in burrito form. But their nachos aren’t bad, either. The chips were unique, if not delicious. Like Cali-Mex, their cheese comes in the form of a queso sauce mixed with ground beef. Along with salsa, sour cream, and guac, it’s a meal. And again, it tastes like Mexican food. I wouldn’t call it awesome, but it’s passable. Although I’d be lying if I said the price didn’t sting—and not in a good way.
And so, after first searching the British pubs of Bangkok and even a Texas BBQ joint, then turning to the so-called experts at various “Mexican” restaurants around town, nobody served a perfect plate of nachos—at least, not one that this Los Angeles native could get behind. The two that came the closest were Tortilla Quemada for the homemade feel and plethora of great flavors, and surprisingly, Sunrise Tacos Silom for a hefty plate of piled high ingredients, multiple salsas and adequate chips. And the superb margarita didn’t hurt, either.
And yet, after all is said and done, there’s one place I can’t stop thinking about and plan to return to order the nachos again, simply for the chips. And it weren’t even a “Mexican” joint. I’m talking about Scruffy Murphy’s. For the chips alone.
If you missed my review of Murph’s and the other Britpubs’ nachos, check out Part 1 of this 2-Part series.
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