Ghosts of Xmas Buffets Past: 2020
It’s pig-out season in Bangkok once again, and as in previous years, I’ll be hitting a few of the biggies—not as many this time, since the combination of lockdowns and global inflation have caused prices to triple in 2022. I’m still going to visit a few, but this year won’t hold a candle to the last two Decembers. For that reason, here’s a recap of the holiday hogwild’s from 2020. I’ll cover 2021 in the next day or so…
One major perk of the pandemic (there were precious few) was, holiday dinners were priced low, thanks to lack of demand from a lack of hungry tourists. At the end of Covid Year 1, I decided to try to gorge myself at as many December dinners and buffets as I could. I started at a chic little bistro on Sathorn Soi 10—Bardo. ‘Twasn’t a buffet, but a multi-course meal especially designed by their talented chefs. The meal began with a glass of sparkling to kickstart the ole engine, followed by truffle soup with a fresh mushroom madeleine. I paired it with a glass of Riesling, if memory serves. The word of the night for every course is “decadent,” and that describes the soup succinctly. After that I had tenderloin Rossini topped with foie gras, paired with a nice montepulciano d’ abruzzo. And then, a 3-cheese platter (brie de meaux, fomme de savoie, fourme d’ambert) paired with an Aussie Chard. Everything was top-notch, crème de la crème, 10 out of 10 awesomeness. Like a fool, I skipped dessert, though the manager brought me extra cheese as a substitute, which made my toes curl with glee.
Until the shitty Patpong landlords shut them down, my favorite restaurant in all of Bangkok was Le Bouchon. They did manage to reopen on Sathorn Soi 1 and they’re bigger and better than they ever could’ve been in their old location, but I do miss them terribly. In 2020, they were still next door to The Old Other Office, and their Christmas 4-course was truly special. It started with eggs cocotte with foie gras and truffle, along with a glass of Chard. The word that came to mind was ‘luscious.’ Every bite of this meal felt like a sin, because it was too much pleasure, too much indulgence for a regular human to handle. Then, a thick slice of homemade terrine de foie gras and poached pear slices. And then….lobster thermidor. ‘Twas the only time in my life that I drank white wine throughout the whole meal. I left feeling like I should seek out a priest for a culinary confession.
I also hit Old Faithful in 2020—that’s my nickname for the Westin Grande Sukhumvit’s Seasonal Tastes buffet. In previous years it was my go-to Thanksgiving meal, but from 2020 to present, I’ve skipped November and instead hit them up for Xmas.
It’s more or less the same every year, and always fantastic. Here’s a quick list of the fab fare: oysters (Busan and French), Alaskan king crab, rock lobster, prawn, mussels, full charcuterie and cheese table, roast lamb, lamb grilled to order, all classic trimmings (carrots, brussels sprouts, chestnuts, squash, cranberry, stuffing, mash, bacon wrapped wieners), plus pizza and pasta, lobster bisque, sushi spread, and a dazzling array of desserts plus a chocolate fountain and ice cream bar. Free flow wine and sparkling amounted to unlimited glasses of Chard, Shiraz-Cab, and Prosecco. This holiday buffet ticks all the boxes and is priced for a regular dude like me.
In 2020, the best-looking menu of all the Bangkok buffets going in was the Riverside Grill’s over at the Royal Orchid Sheraton Hotel. I made a reservation and arrived on the day to find—no one else. I was the only customer, and for that reason they’d cancelled their buffet and switched to a fixed multi-course meal. I was disappointed but I stayed, mostly out of pity for the dozen or so restaurant staff that had nothing to do and no one to serve. The meal ended up costing double what I’d expected but it was all worth it. They stuck with all-you-can-eat salad and appetizers so I started out with calamari and prawns—both of which were delectable. Then the mains were meant to be set, but I talked them into serving me two mains: lobster thermidor and beef wellington. They were both beyond the limits of my layman’s palate, but I relished the experience as something of a rich man’s ritual or rite, and the only thing that qualified me to participate was a lack of customers, due to a pandemic.
Last and maybe best of 2020, I hit the buffet at the St. Regis. First, here’s the wine free-flow menu from that magical meal: Chilean Chard, St Hallet Sauvignon Blanc, Chilean Cab, St Hallet Shiraz, and Pitars Cuvee sparkling. The takeaway for me, after hitting this buffet, is that there’s a good reason for the wide difference in price point between the likes of the Westin and St Regis. This spread was un-be-live-a-ble. It was impossible to try everything. It was a Willy Wonka factory for foodies. I’m going to try (and fail) to cover the hits: Seared foie gras in balsamic reduction, seared scallops in butter, half lobster and risotto, baked oysters, grilled lamb rack, grilled striploin…every single bite of every single dish was like God himself parted the clouds and placed the grub on my plate with His bare hands.
The charcuterie and cheese array defied logic. The desserts (and I’m not a dessert man) were like Disneyland rides for your mouth. And unless another pandemic shuts down the airports, I’ll never go again, because I won’t be able to afford it.
And that was how my pork-out season ended in 2020. I felt I’d recovered some of the optimism that Covid crushed—and really, that was the only reason I went on the eating spree—that, and to blog about it, which I did on patpongnightlife and forgot to save on a hard drive, and so now it’s gone forever except through the hazy lens of memory, which I’ve belched out here. Keep an eye out for the 2021 recap, and sometime after New Year’s, the post for 2022. Also check bangkokseven.com all this week. I’ll be posting a buttload. Peace.