Let me preface this by saying that I’m a Christian. I believe in Jesus, and I believe the words written in The Bible. In fact, anyone who’s an atheist in 2022 has to be fucking retarded. The Big Bang violates Newton’s Laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, and the current best theories for our existence are Panspermia (alien seeding) and Simulation Theory, both of which align with The Bible. So let’s all pull our heads out of our asses and believe the science.
And as a Christian, I must clarify that the following tirade is not against Christians. It’s against stupid fucking feminist fake-Christian cunts, who for some reason come to Thailand on the regular hoping to rescue Redlight girls from their miserable lives of prostitution. I first encountered a gang of these blood-belching clungemonkeys whilst living in Phuket. It was 2011, and I was enjoying some live music in a live music bar on Bangla Road. No, not a gogo bar—a live music bar, where the staff don’t get barfined and the girls don’t screw the customers. I perched myself on a stool in the back while a dozen or so farang tourists danced and bounced at the front, near the lead singer. In the middle of a Maroon 5 cover, a white girl jumped onstage, grabbed the mic from the singer, and shouted, “You ladies who work here need to know that God loves you, and you don’t have to give your bodies to the male pigs in this bar. God has a better plan for your life, WOOOOOOO!” Then she handed back the mic and rejoined her friends on the dance floor. The singer laughed a bit, said “What the fuck are you talking about?” before getting back to Maroon 5. The girl—along with around 10 other dudes and bitches—then took a table near mine and congratulated each other on their brave witnessing on behalf of Christ our Lord.
Now, I don’t want to dwell too much on how stupid these sacks of shit were. How the female staff in the bar don’t fuck for money, how easy it would’ve been to Google info on Thai culture, the differences between the bars, and what exactly goes down in TLOS. Because let’s face it—90% of the world’s population are fucking brain-dead retards. That this group of twats were idiots wasn’t surprising in the least. Their underlying message, however, made them out to be genuine hypocrites, and that’s my focus. These fuckers didn’t give two shits about saving the souls of the men in the bar. In fact, I got the feeling that they hoped every single one of us would burn forever in Hellfire. No, they were only there to save the girls. I see this as the insidious influence of woke leftist feminism on Christianity. Most women under 30 are feminists, which means most Christian women under 30 are feminists. The problem is, Christianity is anathema to feminism. It’s impossible to be both, and these assdouches on Bangla Road proved it. Jesus died for everyone’s sins, and God wants everyone to go to Heaven. Even men who lie with prostitutes (side note: Thai gogo dancers aren’t prostitutes any more than all single women in current year are prostitutes. If you ain’t married, but you fuckin’, you fuckin’ to get something). The fact that these so-called “Christians” wanted to save just the females, and laugh while all the men tumble into the lake of fire means that they weren’t Christians at all.
Flash forward to September 2022 in Patpong, Bangkok. I’m sitting outside The Strip smoking a cigar and sipping a Black Russian. Two farang cunts walk up and start handing out plastic fluorescent bracelets to the girls. Stuck to each one is a blurb about bringing light to the world and a Bible verse. And again, I don’t want to focus on how utterly fucking retarded this is. A Bible verse. Thai gogo dancers have never heard of The Bible, and nothing these yeast-infected morons could say to them about it would be remotely comprehensible. What’s more, it was printed on the sticker in fucking ENGLISH. There isn’t a bat’s chance in Hell the girls at The Strip would make any sense of it. But these white bitches just clamped a bunch of bracelets on the girls and moseyed on down the Soi, as if their job of saving souls was as simple as that. I was curious to see more, so I followed them. They skipped XXX Lounge all together. I guess they didn’t give a fuck about the girls working in that place. As they passed Paddy Field, they stopped briefly to hand bracelets to the ladies at Zpankys and VI Gallery Bar, and then they hit a snag: the gay bars. Gay men are not girls. What would they do? Just as I suspected, they hurried past without even a 2nd glance at all the lost gay male souls bound for Hell that they wouldn’t be helping. Because Christian feminists don’t give a fuck about gay dudes.
If there are any Christian missionaries who happen to read this, and who also happen to be planning an entirely unresearched trip to Thailand, let me offer some free advice:
First, it’s going to take a shit-ton of explaining to get a Thai gogo dancer to wrap her head around the concept of “God.” If by some miracle you happen to do that, the next hurdle is explaining what The Bible is, what it’s about, what it says, and why. Your chances of achieving all that are around 0%. Then, you have to convince them that the Buddhism they’ve believed in all their lives—that their parents, grandparents, and all their ancestors believed—that their government and every other citizen in their country believes—that every person in every other country on the continent believes—is wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try, but you’re going to need more prep than hopping on a plane with some bracelets and stickers.
On top of that, you’ll have to completely undo your Western understanding of “prostitution.” Thai gogo dancers aren’t prostitutes in the American sense of the word. There are prostitutes in Thailand. The colloquial term is “freelancer,” and their only job is to have sex with strangers for money. Gogo dancers’ main job is to dance on a gogo bar stage. Many never have sex with customers. Some do only if/when they can’t cover rent and diapers for their kids. Some have friends-with-benefits relationships with regulars, but unlike in the West, where the “benefit” is both people getting their rocks off, the benefit for the Thai girl is that she’s able to keep a roof over her head and buy an iPhone. They’re not “trafficked” and they’re not “forced” into the life. They choose it, because in Asia there’s no moral stigma about casually banging someone for whatever reason. So in addition to the monumental task of conveying the meaning of God/Jesus/Bible to chicks who won’t understand a word you’re saying, you’ll also need to convince them that Judeo-Christian morality is the right one—a concept that will be as foreign to them as Martians from Mars. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try. You should. But jumping onstage at a live music bar and babbling away in a language they don’t speak won’t save any Thai girls.
And I guess I’m also saying that if you’re a Millennial/Gen Z Christianazi feminist, and you come to Thailand hoping to get clout in Heaven for trying to rescue girls while happily condemning the men—both gay and straight—you’re a cunt, a hypocrite, a SINNER, and you’re not actually a Christian at all.
Apologies for the rant. I think I’ve managed to piss off every single human demographic with this post which is why I’ve disabled comments. Next week I’ll have another 10 Top 10 list for y’all. God bless.